Jeff's Reviews

Thoughts on every movie I've ever seen.

2012 (2009)

Directed by Roland Emmerich

Starring John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Thandie Newton

Author

Lowest common denominator Emmerich garbage. Story is paint-by-numbers, evenly lit scenes give the movie a sterility that is ruined even more with CGI ugliness, intrusive and manipulative scoring replaces real emotion, obnoxious sound effects hit you over the head to make sure you know what just whizzed by or blew up or is about to blow up. Especially apocalyptic scenes are accompanied by a church choir. There seems to be a particular fondness for dramatically destroying world-famous landmarks.

Fringy characters and foreign accents are used for comic effect and/or to imply some sort of whimsical intelligence. Every scene is filled with unnaturally paced dialogue where characters try to out-cool each other without taking a breath. In the lamest attempt to create drama, long pauses with wide open eyes and gaping mouths tell us when something really, really important is happening. And any attempt at comedy is juvenile.

Cusack is wasted. Glover is goofy, not presidential. Pretty much any movie Oliver Platt appears in is lousy.

And it doesn’t stop. This movie is LONG, for some reason.

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