Jeff's Reviews

Thoughts on every movie I've ever seen.

About

I’m a photographer, web developer, travel enthusiast, and movie buff living in Arlington, Virginia, USA.

In the summer of 1993, I started writing reviews for every movie I saw and never looked back. I’m up to 2,107 reviews (161,374 words) now. This makes me cool or a complete dork, depending on your perspective.

You don’t have a really good feel for what makes a movie good when you’re a kid, so some of my earliest reviews don’t have a lot of substance. Sometimes I go back and update the old reviews with new thoughts.

And some of the reviews are quite short. When a movie is crap, sometimes there’s not really much to say about it. When a movie doesn’t meet my expectations, the reviews can get quite lengthy.

BEWARE, some of these reviews contain spoilers, so if that bothers you, don’t read!

The Ratings

It’s hard to rate movies objectively. Your mood, energy level, and age all do their best to skew your impressions of what you watch. But I try.

Some people might rate historical films like The Great Train Robbery or revolutionary ones like Star Wars higher than they should be, based solely on their impact in film history. Some historians feel that movies deserve a higher rating for their originality or social impact, but I don’t. I try my best to review each movie objectively and independent from it’s place in film history.

Why? Because this is not a ranking of the importance of films. It is a ranking of the enjoyment of films. It is important to distinguish the two.

The stars I use to rate movies create a pretty good spread, with “average” movies being about 3 stars. It’s a bit harsher than the common rating systems on the popular review sites, but that’s how I like it. The Bayesian system I use for years and directors requires a high number of highly rated movies for a high ranking. It’s a bit smarter than just using a simple average.

Stars Grade Long Short Viewings Before It Gets Old
5 A+ A magnetic, memorable film with unbelievable impact. Captivates me, touches me, or turns my world upside down. Leaves me speechless. BEST EVER 5+
4.5 A Really great, well-made movie. Gut-wrenching emotion. FANTASTIC / AWESOME 5+
4 A- Very enjoyable. Keeps you entertained throughout. Slight nail-biting. Something special. Touched me. Better than I think I could ever do as a filmmaker. GREAT 5+
3.5 B+ Very good movie, but missing that one little thing. GOOD 3-4
3 B I like it. No big deal if you miss it. Worth renting. Lowest rating I’ll endorse or see again. Maybe you look at your watch a few times. PRETTY GOOD 2
2.5 B- Not worth the time. All right. Fun to see if a friends pays for you. Barely worth seeing a second time. A tiny bit of it was entertaining. Lots of little flaws or one big serious flaw. ALL RIGHT / DECENT / NOT BAD / OK 1
2 C+ Not too much fun. Almost decent. Hard to find something good about it. A few boring sequences. NOT SO GREAT 1
1.5 C A desperate time killer. Definitely not worth the money or time to go to the theater. NOT GOOD 1
1 C- Bordering horrible. The lowest film I could tolerate watching. BAD 1
0.5 D Really bad movie. Not worth the time or energy, even for free. A trace of a story, maybe kind of interesting to look at, maybe a good song or something. Almost sleeping. HORRIBLE 0
0 F A complete waste. No redeeming qualities. No story, totally uninteresting to watch. I won’t want to watch the movie. I’ll either leave or try to sleep. DISGUSTING 0