Jeff's Reviews | Thoughts on every movie I've ever seen.

recent product reviews

Con Air (1997)

Reviewed on Jul 26, 2005

Typical Michael Bay/Jerry Bruckheimer mid-90’s bubblegum crap. Surprised it didn’t come from them. Great cast. Cage is in amazing shape. Steroids? He also sounds a bit like Forrest Gump.

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A pretty good boxing movie. Good, clean story structure, pretty dramatic. Swank does a great job, definitely an Oscar vehicle. She plays a lovable, good-looking, white trash chick who doesn’t fuck around, much like Patricia Arquette’s Alabama in True Romance. The whispering Eastwood is, once again, hard to understand.

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Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

Reviewed on Jul 8, 2005

The same playful wit and sexual identity storyline as the first one, and similar to Sex in the City. Zellweger is quite the porker. Is that really necessary? If the idea is to keep her ugly enough for the story, I don’t think porking up is the answer. She’s distinctive…

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Cat People (1982)

Reviewed on Jul 7, 2005

Most movies of this period were pretty awkward, but Schrader succeeds. A nice mix of sensuality and blood. Lots of beautiful, rarely gratuitous nudity. Pleasantly long. Even the almost cheesy 80’s synth score is nice. One of the first “adult” movies I ever saw.

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War of the Worlds (2005)

Reviewed on Jun 28, 2005

I’ve been waiting many years for a good science fiction movie to take alien invasion seriously, and when I heard about this project, I became very excited. I was sure Spielberg would improve on the original, making it more believable, more dramatic, and more exciting. But it was only a…

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The Notebook (2004)

Reviewed on Jun 27, 2005

Yes, it’s romantic. I can see how the chicks love it. But the first half is pretty boring. It’s the second half, which focused more on the older characters, which really pulled the heartstrings. Gosling and McAdams are clones of Christian Bale and Jennifer Garner. Gosling was a cute girl…

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Love Stinks (1999)

Reviewed on Jun 21, 2005

Could have been better but Stewart is neither dramatic nor funny. Bateman’s got more charisma in his 5 minutes of screentime. Stewart’s shining moment is when he farts in bed. Wilson’s a sexy chick with Cameron Diaz-like rawness to her.

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Spaceballs (1987)

Reviewed on Jun 16, 2005

Mel Brooks once again pays “homage” to classic films, and once again, his humor doesn’t land for me. The parody feels broad and lazy, relying more on reference than wit. John Candy manages to shine through the mess and is easily the film’s greatest asset. And if nothing else, the…

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Young Frankenstein (1974)

Reviewed on Jun 14, 2005

Not funny. I know Wilder (who looks like Errol Flynn in this movie) has talent, but Brooks just isn’t. Garr was a cutie. A faithful copy of the old horror movies. Who cares. This movie is probably opposite to Team America: World Police in every single way.

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Private Parts (1997)

Reviewed on Jun 14, 2005

Not bad. A bit of an ego thing, and not quite as edgy as I would have liked it. I would like to see him do a real movie. Is he interested in doing any movies that aren’t about himself? He has a hint of talent, and a real movie…

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