Jeff's Reviews | Thoughts on every movie I've ever seen.

recent product reviews

Marley & Me (2008)

Reviewed on Mar 10, 2017

Polished and easy to like with all of the fun actors, but it’s a bit weird thematically. This is a tragedy disguised as a comedy.

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Resident Evil (2002)

Reviewed on Mar 10, 2017

Awful. Jovovich is nice to look at in a few scenes, but that’s about all there is.

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X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

Reviewed on Mar 9, 2017

Getting hard to keep all the stories straight. And to be honest, they’re all starting to get a bit repetitive. Quicksilver’s mansion run was good comedy.

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At the start, I’m confused about where and when we are. This is obviously a continuation of the X-Men story, but what has happened? Why are these the only mutants left? What happened to Magneto and all the others? I’ve been pretty faithful to the X-Men franchise, but did I…

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The Invitation (2015)

Reviewed on Mar 7, 2017

The characters, the actors who pay them, the way story is told… The whole thing oozes LA. Everybody is pretty and trendy and cool, hiding their insecurities and hollow lives with big smiles, well-timed laughs, and hipster fashions. The story is superficially tense, the scenes are are unrealistically awkward. Just…

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Moonlight (2016)

Reviewed on Mar 2, 2017

Bold subject matter, but Best Picture? If the award is given to the film with the boldest subject matter, and not the one which is most engaging or well-made or entertaining, then I think that’s a shame. Even more confusing is the Best Supporting Actor. He was only in the…

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Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005)

Reviewed on Feb 24, 2017

A couple of laughs and some hot women, but overall it’s pretty goofy.

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Zero Days (2016)

Reviewed on Feb 23, 2017

Great collection of footage and high-quality interviews. Good explanation of some pretty technical stuff. It all really opens your eyes to how much is going on that we don’t know about. The visual effects, diagrams are ever-present but help to make things more stimulating and informative. The subtle droning of…

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Towelhead (2007)

Reviewed on Feb 21, 2017

Strange title, and I understand the controversy around it. This movie is less about racial slurs (she’s never even shown shown wearing a hijab) than it is about a young girl’s sexual awakening. Sexual coming-of-age stories seem to be Alan Ball’s thing. It’s no coincidence that he wrote and produced…

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Motel Hell (1980)

Reviewed on Feb 19, 2017

It’s a little cheesy and goofy, but as far as horror films of the 80’s go, it’s gruesome and creepy and surprisingly good. Sticks with the horror movie traditions of gore, camp, black comedy, hot women, sex, deviancy, and of course, chainsaws. The formula works. And it actually has a…

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