Jeff's Reviews

Thoughts on every movie I've ever seen.

recent product reviews

The Sum of All Fears (2002)

Reviewed on Oct 26, 2003

About what I expected. A complicated, literary plot about nukes involving enough people to make it a pain in the ass to watch. I suppose Affleck makes a good Jack Ryan.

Full Review

Flashdance (1983)

Reviewed on Sep 27, 2003

Not much happens, doesn’t really go anywhere. A bit disjointed and unpolished like a lot of 80’s movies. The ending kind sucked. Beals is hot. Got a boner watching her eat lobster. She’s is like Ralph Macchio in so many ways. But she’s unrealistically normal. She swears a lot and…

Full Review

Vacation (1983)

Reviewed on Sep 20, 2003

Funny stuff. Almost every joke and gag works perfectly.

Full Review

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

Reviewed on Sep 10, 2003

Feels like a Disney movie. Would have liked to see a bit more edge to it. Action’s not bad, and the skeleton effects were well-done. A bit long. Depp is magnetic, and I love the pirate language they all use.

Full Review

Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (2001)

Reviewed on Sep 7, 2003

Touching war romance, although it would have been really impressive if the whole thing was in subtitles. The most interesting character, I thought, was the sympathetic Nazi. The war footage was OK.

Full Review

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

Reviewed on Aug 22, 2003

Pretty good for a non-Cameron installment. They actually came up with a story worth telling, which was my biggest concern. Mostow stays pretty faithful to the original movies and, by introducing inevitable self-destruction, finds a way for the story to keep going. I think Arnie will now abandon movies and…

Full Review

L.A. Confidential (1997)

Reviewed on Jul 23, 2003

Russell Crowe plays one of the most intense mofos I have ever seen. Riveting. Pearce was good too. Spacey’s death stare was awesome. Basinger was OK. A lot of the Oscar-nominated acting came from the script, I think. Complicated plot. Why Crowe would so easily fall in love with a…

Full Review

Basic (2003)

Reviewed on Jul 1, 2003

Not a fan of Travolta or movies that leave us in the dark. I start to think that everything I am seeing is BS and I get bored waiting for the truth. Another Rashomon-like whodunnit. Refreshing to see a protagonist embracing evil for a change. Nielsen’s hot but her crap…

Full Review

The Hulk (2003)

Reviewed on Jun 23, 2003

Lee tries to make a comic story more dramatic than it really is and ends up with a film that is too long with a not-so-great story. The hush-hush military thing gets old. Bana, like Pitt, shouldn’t waste his time playing guys who are trying to be normal. They should…

Full Review

Shanghai Knights (2003)

Reviewed on Jun 22, 2003

Jackie’s gimmicky fight sequences are still good (he’s still amazingly acrobatic), and Wilson’s free-flowing dialogue is entertaining. Gillen’s great with a sword and looks like Edward Burns. Overall, a reasonably good adventure. But when the outtakes at the end are more entertaining than the movie, that tells you something.

Full Review