Jeff's Reviews | Thoughts on every movie I've ever seen.

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Broken Arrow (1996)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

Reminded me of Speed somehow. Just didn’t work. And the ending didn’t help, either.

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Almost like a modernized Rashomon plot, with several POV flashbacks being different variations of the truth. A few pretty cool war scenes. A war movie that was completely made up of war scenes like this would cost a zillion dollars but would be awesome. Good characters. Meg is surprisingly good.…

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Downhill Willie (1995)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

On USA late at night. Probably the most hilariously dumb movie I’ve ever seen. The farting scene was just unbelievable. See it for laughs. Keanan is good-looking, but she tries to do the “just sit there and be beautiful” thing that only the best-looking women can do and it doesn’t…

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The English Patient (1996)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

Kinda long. Appealed to the art side of film but not the sensation side, and I feel they must appeal to both for a higher rating. However, it IS refreshing to see longer, more artsy movies after being subjected to Hollywood shit for so long. Fantastic cinematography. A few really…

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Eraser (1996)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

It was OK. A decent Hollywood action movie. Arnie had a few (very few, actually) good one-liners. The story was OK. But every movie that messes with super-ultra futuristic technology just seems to goof it up and get kind of cheesy.

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Escape from L.A. (1996)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

I’m still not convinced Carpenter knows how to make a movie. Up to this point, I think Starman is his best film. Didn’t really have a story of its own. No climax. Many scenes were just copied from other films like Terminator 2: Judgment Day, True Lies (must be a…

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Executive Decision (1996)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

Surprisingly good. It’s about as good as a cheap action movie could be. In other words, pretty good for a movie with a half-ass story that the writiers obviously spent no more than 5 minutes thinking up. Much better than its aerial counterpart, Passenger 57. It was very disheartening seeing…

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The Fan (1996)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

The story of the demise of a truly deranged fuck. Pretty good ending. The Naked Gun-esque umpire swap was cool. And Wesley has successfully made the transition from speedy base stealer to all-star power hitter. It was nice to see John Kruk, but I think he would have been great…

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Fargo (1996)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

Interesting story, funny moments, great characters, great acting, great music, great flavor, and a cool, kinda touching message at the end along with the cool ending. The music and photography worked great together (the Coen brothers seem to be masters at this). The accents gave it a really touch, some…

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Female Perversions (1996)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

That girl was pretty fucked up. If you were to put all the movies about sexual dysfunction (like The Cement Garden) together and analyzed them, you’d probably come up with some pretty interesting shit. Mean fathers can really fuck you up. A few neat metaphors (ropes during sex and a…

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