Jeff's Reviews

Thoughts on every movie I've ever seen.

recent product reviews

The Matrix (1999)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

I don’t know if revolutionary is too strong a word or not. Can it really be the best sci-fi movie since Terminator 2? A real thinker which makes you reconsider the whole notion of reality and perception. You feel a little different stepping out of the theater and into the…

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The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc (1999)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

Joan was a cheerleader, not a fighter. This is one long pep rally. Not quite sure what the final statement on religion was. Milla’s got cool hair, but I don’t like to root for deranged, delusional bitches. So that pretty much blew the movie for me. Her horrible performance consisted…

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The Mod Squad (1999)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

The music and costumes were stylish, but I didn’t give a crap about the characters. We are never given a reason to. This movie needed someone good-looking to prevent it from seeming like a cable movie. The story was garbage and full of admitted cliches. Of all of them, Ribisi,…

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The Mummy (1999)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

Could have been real scary, but it wasn’t. Horrible writing plus bad characters equals unavoidably bad acting. Fraser is annoying, almost as bad as Keanu. He’s just an idiot. How can we root for a dumb hero? He should stick to oddball characters like Encino Man. Everyone else played stereotypical…

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Nothing (1999)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

A pretty good get-to-know-the-director piece. Touching because it’s so personal. Interesting ending. Same themes as Baggage (getting a grip on reality, film vs. past). Bad acting, dialogue fits the film too nicely. Tons of metaphors, much like Spike Lee. Aaronson is also an NYU grad. Masturbation on the bus trip?

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Payback (1999)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

A couple of entertaining moments, but not too much of a story. The biggest problem is that we have no idea who Porter is, where he comes from, or why he is doing this. Why is he so stupid? Why would this guy, who has a history of crime and…

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Princess Mononoke (1997)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

Wonderful, magical story, very well-told. Beautiful animation, fabulous music, great characters. The Spirit of the Forest was captivating, and the Kidoma were eerily cute. Ashitaka looked like Speed Racer. So who was Princess Mononoke? Why did San wear human jewelery like earrings and a necklace? And did that long shot…

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Pushing Tin (1999)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

I liked the romantic comedy and dramatic aspects of it, and I think the actors did a great job with their characters. Good drama, great awkward situations, and a few really funny moments. It just seemed like the air traffic controller bit was kinda forced into the story, almost interfering…

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The Sixth Sense (1999)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

Touching. A few creepy moments, and a nice twist at the end. But who gets the sixth sense? Does everyone with the sixth sense have the same physical attributes? Is Cole simply a reincarnation of Vincent Gray? Are Cole’s scratchmarks self-inflicted after all? Osment is fantastic. Very creepy, very believable,…

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South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)

Reviewed on Dec 31, 1969

Pretty funny. Saddam’s great, Terrance and Phillip are hilarious. Socially aware with a political slant, and an intelligently made film. Parker and Stone have some talent.

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