recent product reviews
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)
Lots of great actors and polished cinematography, but boy is it slow.
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Total Recall (2012)
A noble attempt to update the story, a few homages to the original, and lots of good-looking stars, but the dialogue and editing are both amateurish. That gimmicky horizontal lens flare doesn’t need to be in every shot. Farrell is twitchy and rarely sustains eye contact with anyone. Hard for…
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Wildcats (1986)
Made when comedies couldn’t just be funny. Had to have some drama in there. Not much of either, unfortunately. Goldie’s charming in roles where her very feminine character is stuck in manly situations. Is this where Woody met Wesley?
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The Sitter (2011)
Hill’s pretty funny, though his formulaic awkward humor is getting a bit old. Can he carry a movie with it?
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Water for Elephants (2011)
Not bad. Pattinson, Witherspoon, and Waltz are all pretty good.
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*batteries not included (1987)
A special effects showcase with a tame story and lame characters. An edgier story and a star with a real personality would have really helped this one.
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The Revenant (2009)
Goofy in a Shaun of the Dead sort of way, complete with a lead character (Wylde) who’s a strange cross between Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Using a vibrator to get the decapitated head to talk was genius.
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Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994)
We really needed to do this? Even if they found a Scotsman to play a Scotsman, it would still suck. Lambert’s slightly crossed eyes and French accent make him hard to take seriously. Unger’s nice to look at.
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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)
Story is dumb, with almost no loyalty to original series. Effects are dumb. Ice doesn’t sink. Quick editing ruins the potential for any real action. Star actors, but who cares. Everyone is dumb.
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I'm a photographer, web developer, travel enthusiast, and movie buff living in Alexandria, Virginia, USA.In the summer of 1993, I started writing reviews for every movie I saw and haven't looked back. I'm up to 2,374 reviews now. This makes me cool or a complete dork, depending on your perspective.
Some of these reviews contain spoilers, so if that bothers you, don't read!
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