Jeff's Reviews

Thoughts on every movie I've ever seen.

Coyote Ugly (2000)

Directed by David McNally

Starring Piper Perabo, Adam Garcia, John Goodman, Maria Bello

Author

Any movie poster with beautiful women draped across it as central characters will make me very skeptical of the film itself. I expected a crappy movie about gorgeous women who are unrealistically righteous and totally unreal, and that’s exactly the kind of bullshit that I got.

All of the secondary characters are very predictable stereotypes. Except for Goodman, whose character doesn’t seem to make sense at all. Bello looks like she could be Nicole Eggert’s mother.

What man that wise would lack the common sense to clean himself or wear socks to a wedding? The simple “he can’t take care of himself” cop-out just doesn’t cut it. And after Piper proved that she could sing and became a hit, wouldn’t it have been much more dramatic if she had continued singing (and followed her mother’s legacy) rather than going back into hiding to write songs for horse-ugly singers like LeAnn Rimes?

A place like Coyote Ugly would never exist. And if it did, it would certainly have more than one bouncer.

I would have loved to see something much darker and much more realistic.

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