Jeff's Reviews

Thoughts on every movie I've ever seen.

recent product reviews

Million Dollar Hotel (2000)

More artsy stuff from Wim. A bit slow, hard to stay focused at times. It’s hard to sympathize with retards who aren’t “trying their best”. A surprisingly good cast (did everyone want to get in on Bono’s production?). Mel’s character could have been a bit more dramatic. Too stoic, especially…

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Children of a Lesser God (1986)

Fantastic story, fantastic performances by both Hurt and Matlin. He’s so stoic, and he’s got great eyes. Hurt plays emotionally deep characters with ease. I bet the role was a real challenge for him, wonder if he had to learn to sign. His translation voice-over works well. Why no Oscar…

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Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)

Allen is funny, smart, and likeable. This is his best film. He actually eats quite a bit in one take. Alda is good as the hotshot, Landau isn’t as hard to watch as I thought he might be. He walks funny. Huston is refreshingly normal (I guess). Farrow is good.…

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Shadow of the Vampire (2000)

Dafoe is fantastic, Oscar-worthy. Dafoe deserves an Oscar even though Shrek didn’t get one (that’s kinda sad). He seems to be good at heavy/weird characters. Malkovich is good, too. Accents are good, too. Well-directed, nice style and complementary music. It teases us with a few real clips from the original…

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Meet the Parents (2000)

Cute, simple story. Kinda touching. De Niro is good as the provoker, and Stiller is great as the awkward victim.

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A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

A retelling of Pinicchio. The script problems and lack of attention to detail lead me to believe that Spielberg got bored or fed up with this project after Kubrick handed it to him. Osment is cute, spooky, and perfect, but it’s hard to sympathize with a characters who’s emotions are…

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Moulin Rouge (2001)

Luhrmann’s style drowns you. Very theatrical, like a play on acid. Dizzying cuts. Editing must have been a bitch. The contemporary songs are almost laughable. Ewan and Duke were good, Kidman is OK. Roxburgh and Broadbent are good and very versatile. Lots of Ozzies and Kiwis, Minogue as Tinkerbell was…

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Charlie’s Angels (2000)

A cheesy spoof of the series, like The Brady Bunch Movie. Tries to be funny and cool but isn’t either, just dumb. Who is this Nichol fellow, and how does he get to direct a huge movie? None of them are drop-dead gorgeous as the film suggests, so it doesn’t…

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Unbreakable (2000)

The genesis of a good character, which you don’t see very often. Plays like the introduction of a series (see comments for Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring). I’d like to see the story continue. Interesting camera angles, Willis gets through a whole film without smirking. He seems…

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Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

The story sucks and the acting sucks. Worst movie I’ve seen in a while, and I saw it coming. Indiana Jones meets The Mummy meets Blade. Jolie is a lousy action hero, but her oversized boobs sell and her English accent is kinda cool.

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