recent product reviews
Paradise Alley (1978)
Were all movies from the late 70’s boring and unfunny as a rule? A lame effort to reproduce some of Stallone’s magic with Rocky. Stallone does OK. He’s quite a chatterbox in this one and really belts out the opening theme. Lee Canalito looks like a young Brando.
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Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
The usual Bond schlock, though this one is sillier than most. Some very awkward writing for a couple of gay characters. The convoluted plot is pretty damn boring. Goofy humor, dated effects in the intro sequence, and some really bad dubbing typical of movies in the period. Amazing that it…
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Dredd (2012)
Gloriously violent, a great shoot-em-up movie. The action is action is visually good, though cheapened by constant ambient techno music. Effects, especially the slo-mo, are great. Urban’s pretty good, and he sounds just like Clint Eastwood. But the character’s a little robotic, and like Bane in The Dark Knight Rises,…
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Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)
Even with a different director, they captured the same humor and feel as the first. Having much of the same cast certainly helped.
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Battleship (2012)
Berg took a few pages out of the Michael Bay playbook. Basically, this is Transformers at sea. Ridiculous caricatures, a constant veneer of sweat on every actor, polished photography, bad jokes, classic rock, and masturbatory obsession with military machismo. Using the tsunami buoys to channel the board game was a…
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The Conjuring (2013)
A nice slow pace builds the anticipation, and I love the authentic 70’s feel. Livingston’s fantastic, and Taylor’s good as the demon-mother. But I thought it would be scarier. An updated version of The Exorcist.
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This Is the End (2013)
Seth is Seth, and this is probably the least annoying I’ve ever seen Jay. Some of the ad-libbed banter is good, McBride’s got some lines, and Hill’s exorcism was hilarious, but the silly drug and penis humor gets old quick. This might as well have been Pineapple Express 2.
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Pacific Rim (2013)
Lots of high-octane effects and testosterone-driven action. The robots and monsters fighting in cities make are a perfect combination of Godzilla, Cloverfield, and Real Steel. But with the awful dialogue, caricature performances, contrived dramatic situations, low-grade comedy silliness, and the most basic breaches of military protocol, I’d swear it was…
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The Thing (2011)
A faithful, well-made prequel. Heijningen reins it in and does a good job keeping things real. Edgerton headlines a bunch of good performances from unfamiliar faces. Nice effects and gore, though I’m constantly asking myself why every room has to be so dark and why every flashlight has to be…
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I'm a photographer, web developer, travel enthusiast, and movie buff living in Alexandria, Virginia, USA.In the summer of 1993, I started writing reviews for every movie I saw and haven't looked back. I'm up to 2,374 reviews now. This makes me cool or a complete dork, depending on your perspective.
Some of these reviews contain spoilers, so if that bothers you, don't read!
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