Jeff's Reviews

Thoughts on every movie I've ever seen.

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Secondhand Lions (2003)

Kinda dumb. Caine pulls off the accent, but Osment doesn’t pull off puberty.

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The Crush (1993)

Silverstone is seductive and cute. That upside-down smile is strangely appealing. But Elwes is stale and annoying. He looks and sounds like a child molester. His accent comes and goes. Boring story. Writing is crap.

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Aces: Iron Eagle III (1992)

One of the worst action movies ever.

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Camilla (1994)

Pretty awful. It’s about violin music, but not much else. Unfortunate that this was Tandy’s last movie.

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Sixteen Candles (1984)

The first of Hughes 80’s teen comedy run but made before he really hit his stride. Goofy 80’s cheese, not all that funny. Interesting to see the formation of Hughes mini-brat pack and Hughes living his teenage years through these kids. Ringwald’s cute, she’s got soul in her eyes. Schoeffling’s…

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White Noise (2005)

Surprised with how eerie this one was. An extension of the static screen from Poltergeist. I wonder if there were EVP fanatics before Poltergeist came out. Keaton is fun to watch. It’s always nice to see actors who normally play big shots humbled by something bigger and badder. Sax seems…

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Barbarella (1968)

Cheesy and fun. Delightful costumes and goofy fantasy world effects, like The Wizard of Oz. An innocent but suggestive and good-looking central character. Great floating striptease to start the movie. From the world that Austin Powers was conceived. Lots of trippy visual effects. Fun music whenever Pygar takes off. All…

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The Ice Storm (1997)

Awkward, intense, score-less, and well-acted. A lot like American Beauty, Donnie Darko, or Magnolia in that sense. Nice cast.

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Fearless (1993)

Kind of interesting and weird and intense, with a Jesus character right in the middle. Typical Weir film.

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Aliens of the Deep (2005)

Some cool effects, and Cameron attempts to make something that was more “real” than the Hollywood stuff he normally makes, but the space effects and Abyss-like finale of an intelligent underwater civilization were steps in the wrong direction. The space exploration animation was truly awesome, but I’m not sure how…

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