March of the Penguins (2005)
Educational and fun. Like an IMAX film, but more dramatic. In fact, the images of the dead ones are almost *too* dramatic… Freeman’s raspy, articulate voice exudes wisdom. His excellent voiceover gives the story credibility and encourages us to listen to every word. Great music and lots of beautiful photography,…
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Wild Zero (1999)
A rock n’ roll space zombie movie. Obviously inflluenced by 60’s horror, Tarantino, the Monkees, and the director’s admiration of American music and spirit. The story goes from completely random to uninteresting. Amateurishly shot, shit acting, silly humor. Total cheese. How could slow-moving zombies cause that much trouble?
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Con Air (1997)
Typical Michael Bay/Jerry Bruckheimer mid-90’s bubblegum crap. Surprised it didn’t come from them. Great cast. Cage is in amazing shape. Steroids? He also sounds a bit like Forrest Gump.
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Million Dollar Baby (2004)
A pretty good boxing movie. Good, clean story structure, pretty dramatic. Swank does a great job, definitely an Oscar vehicle. She plays a lovable, good-looking, white trash chick who doesn’t fuck around, much like Patricia Arquette’s Alabama in True Romance. The whispering Eastwood is, once again, hard to understand.
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Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
The same playful wit and sexual identity storyline as the first one, and similar to Sex in the City. Zellweger is quite the porker. Is that really necessary? If the idea is to keep her ugly enough for the story, I don’t think porking up is the answer. She’s distinctive…
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Cat People (1982)
Most movies of this period were pretty awkward, but Schrader succeeds. A nice mix of sensuality and blood. Lots of beautiful, rarely gratuitous nudity. Pleasantly long. Even the almost cheesy 80’s synth score is nice. One of the first “adult” movies I ever saw.
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War of the Worlds (2005)
I’ve been waiting many years for a good science fiction movie to take alien invasion seriously, and when I heard about this project, I became very excited. I was sure Spielberg would improve on the original, making it more believable, more dramatic, and more exciting. But it was only a…
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The Notebook (2004)
Yes, it’s romantic. I can see how the chicks love it. But the first half is pretty boring. It’s the second half, which focused more on the older characters, which really pulled the heartstrings. Gosling and McAdams are clones of Christian Bale and Jennifer Garner. Gosling was a cute girl…
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Love Stinks (1999)
Could have been better but Stewart is neither dramatic nor funny. Bateman’s got more charisma in his 5 minutes of screentime. Stewart’s shining moment is when he farts in bed. Wilson’s a sexy chick with Cameron Diaz-like rawness to her.
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Spaceballs (1987)
Brooks again pays “homage” to classic movies, and once again, it’s not very funny. John Candy shines through the shit. The best thing about this movie is that it introduced us to Bill Pullman.
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Young Frankenstein (1974)
Not funny. I know Wilder (who looks like Errol Flynn in this movie) has talent, but Brooks just isn’t. Garr was a cutie. A faithful copy of the old horror movies. Who cares. This movie is probably opposite to Team America: World Police in every single way.
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Private Parts (1997)
Not bad. A bit of an ego thing, and not quite as edgy as I would have liked it. I would like to see him do a real movie. Is he interested in doing any movies that aren’t about himself? He has a hint of talent, and a real movie…
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Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
Pretty good, about what you’d expect in another sequel. Still got those awesome punching sounds, but the effects took a small step backwards. You can tell Indy is losing a step. It will be interesting to see how well he holds up in the next one. I hope they embrace…
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Team America: World Police (2004)
Really funny stuff. Parker and Stone continue their successful tradition of social commentary, comic timing, and pushing the envelope. This time, with a new medium. The puppetry is nothing short of amazing.
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Mr 3000 (2004)
Pretty dumb. The action’s OK (never had Mac pegged as a baseball player), but the characters and a lot of the “baseball talk” are dumb. Nice ending, though.
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The Barbarian Invasions (2003)
Interesting, emotional. Lots of elitist but interesting dialogue. I’m just not sure I get the connection between the social commentary about war and genocide and the dying father. The actors (Sebastien, his dying Dad, and Ncholette) are incredible. It is their very matural performances that make the movie. Everyone’s got…
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La Bamba (1987)
Textbook. No edge to it. That’s too bad. It would have been great if Phillips sang his own songs.
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Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)
A certain kind of relief now that the story is connected. Finally, the emergence of Vader can take its place as one of the most dramatic character transformations in film history. Finally, Hayden isn’t bad. The best effects yet, and the swordplay is pretty incredible.
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City of God (2002)
A polished, well-made movie about very poor people in a very poor area. You don’t see that much. Goodfellas in the Brazilian ghetto. A bit of Guy Ritchie flavor. Excellent acting.
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Sideways (2004)
Excellent performances by Church and Giamatti. Very real, their dialogue very natural. Giamatti’s character spoke to me. A simple, funny, well-made movie. The wine and jazzy music give the story a nice feel.
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Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002)
Most of the Ocean’s 12 cast (and Soderbergh) in a darker movie directed by Clooney. Clooney does a pretty good job in the chair for the first time. I guess you just figure it all out when you’ve been around movies for so long. Rockwell is good.
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Last Man Standing (1996)
Bruce Willis + guns = cool Were there really gangs in Texas ghost towns?
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Run Lola Run (1998)
Cool little movie about the little things that make up every day. Liked the roulette shots, but didn’t like the screaming. I think the red hair actually prevented all of those running shots from being boring and repetitive.
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Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
Good stuff. Darker and smoother, an improvement on the original. Ford at his hunkiest. Unfortunately, some of the special effects are less than perfect.
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Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
A great debut by Carrey. The most amazing thing about him, I think, is the control he has over his voice.
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Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)
More of the same, but it’s lacking in originality and getting old. The rhino birth scene was pretty funny.
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Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
Good characters, action, and story. Great fantasy which sets a great mood. Seeing it on the big screen makes a huge difference. Awesome punching sound! Remarkably polished for 1981. It even stands up well today. This might have been the first film to conquer the low-quality film, bad color, messy…
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Hackers (1995)
Not nearly as cool as I thought it would be. A cheesy and unrealistic look at hacking, and amatuerish filmmaking. They should have spent less money on the motherboard fly-bys and more money on film for additional takes. Good music, but it’s wasted. Miller reminds me a bit of Jason…
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Kingpin (1996)
One of the better Farrelly comedies. More deformity and penis humor. Murray is just funny. Quaid is holding up pretty well after all these years. He actually looks a lot like Kevin Spacey.
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Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
The first real high school movie, with lots of edgy, refreshing sexual content. This movie would have answered a lot of questions for me when I was younger. It’s a valuable snapshot of high school life in the 80’s, but it’s not quite as witty as the John Hughes movies…
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Donnie Brasco (1997)
Not bad. Nice to see Pacino vulnerable for a change. Heche is pretty hot.
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Hotel Rwanda (2004)
With unbelievable human cruelty and the innocence of children, it pulls all the heartstrings. An African Schindler’s List. Cheadle is strong. He seems to love accents.
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The Hunt for Red October (1990)
Pretty good story, and pretty well made. Lots of Die Hard elements in there, which I guess isn’t too surprising coming from McTiernan. Good cast. Baldwin used to be a good-looking guy. Interesting transition from Russian to English dialogue.
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Animal House (1978)
A good bridge between the 70’s and 80’s, in terms of its look and feel and its comedy. Definitely started the run of 80’s college movies. Belushi actually seems like a classic actor. I bet he would have been a huge silent film star in the 20’s. Allen has some…
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The Poseidon Adventure (1972)
Pretty awful. Full of the most stale 70’s-style acting and dramatic cliches imaginable. And plagued with the typical 70’s sound mixing problems.
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Coming to America (1988)
A bit more elaborate and polished than his earlier comedies and financed himself, I get the feeling that this is when Murphy really started to take his career into his own hands. This is also when his movies became less spontaneous comedy and more Eddie Murphy Show. Loved the Trading…
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Trading Places (1983)
A bit slow, and Murphy’s not funny enough. Made back when it was OK to make fun of black people. Curtis was a fox. Gleason’s one of the best character actors out there. Some nice cameos.
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G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987)
The animation leaves soemthing to be desired. It’s no different than typical weekday afternoon fare from the 80’s. The story was a bit edgier with Duke’s “coma”, but there are too many moral lessons along the way, again just like weekday cartoons. Same kind of story, political struggles, animation, effects,…
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The Man Who Wasn’t There (2001)
A slow-moving but beautifully shot Coen film, replete with a whimsical invention (dry cleaning, in thie case) and omnipresent death. Thorton is pretty good.
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Chocolat (2000)
Similar to the sensual food drama Like Water for Chocolate. It’s OK, but the story is just not interesting enough to move this slowly. I had a hard time figuring out when it takes place. Molina is good, Depp is obviously good. His first turn as an accented pirate is…
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North By Northwest (1959)
One of Hitchcock’s best. Interesting story, and Grant has got the lines. Saint was the old Christina Applegate. Hitchcock’s penchant for English talent means that too many of the characters in this American film have accents. The most interesting thing about this movie, I think, is that it bridges the…
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Closer (2004)
A simple movie about the complexity of human nature; a harrowing, unflinching look at how disgusting people can be. A meandering walk down the fine line between passion and jealousy. Like Unfaithful, this film conveys very personal, very real, very dramatic emotions without sugar-coating them or dissolving them in a…
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Total Recall (1990)
This is an important science fiction movie. This original (though based on a book) story which introduced many groundbreaking sci-fi elements: the pill (Matrix), brain implants (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), mutants as good guys (X-Men), and stomach creatures (Aliens). Some effects are better than others, but it holds…
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Iceman (1984)
I saw this as a kid, and I remember being enthralled. Today, it’s not bad. Story is interesting, but I feel like it needed something, maybe one more act? He’s discovered, thawed, lives in a bear enclosure, makes a friend, bangs his head on a helicopter, and goes for a…
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Mystic River (2003)
Good cast. Everyone pulls off the Jersey thing quite well. A lot of characters, alsmot too many. Some new angles: Penn plays a guy who is good, Bacon plays a guy who is tough. OK story, but it takes a while to unfold. Surprised Eastwood is directing movies like this.
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The Village (2004)
Shyamalan knows what he’s doing. He builds suspense better than anyone, combines it with a story that makes you think, high-quality production (super fluid camera movements, great photography, perfect timing), and a well-used and beautiful score. You end up with a movie that can really get inside of you. Borrows…
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Catch Me If You Can (2002)
The story doesn’t really explain why he became such a delinquent, but it’s still fun to watch. DiCaprio likes to play sketchy characters who have breakdowns. Hanks is good in a supporting role.
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Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
Funny stuff. Hess knows comedy, and Heder is a character. Not sure about his name, though. The understatement by all the cast members makes it work. Very similar to Election, another offbeat MTV high school movie.
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Highlander (1986)
Interesting concept, but the photography and music are all a bit cheesy. Not sure if it’s the lower budget, but it’s got the look and feel of an early 80’s movie. As a long-haired Scotsman, Lambert is reminiscent of Braveheart’s William Wallace. He might have been a big star if…
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The Terminal (2004)
Polished, as it should be for a simple Spielberg production. Hanks, one of his favorite actors, looks like a toad but pulls off the role. Tucci and Pallana are excellent. A few funny moments, but quite long.
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Monster’s Ball (2001)
A careful balance of intense sadness (almost funny) and intense sex (almost soft-core porn), with plenty of vomiting thrown in for good measure. Fantastic roles and performances for Thornton, Berry, and Ledger. Well-shot.
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Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Once again, Tarantino revels in contemporized 70’s camp while using quirky vocabulary, obscure scientific facts, and comic book/superhero references to keep the dialogue moving. With gross, realistic detail and sketchy situations, Tarantino is good at making us uncomfortable. His usual cast, but Uma is the centerpiece here. You can tell…
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G.I. Jane (1997)
Pretty good. A dramatic Private Benjamin. Moore does a pretty good job, Viggo is a stud, and Bancroft is excellent. Scott’s style is so distinctive: moody string/synth score, graduated filters, ceiling fans‚Ķ
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Friday Night Lights (2004)
A pretty good sports movie about character, and an interesting look at high school football in dreary Mid-Texas. Took a while, but I found myself drawn in by the dramatic ending. The score, unconventional for a sports movie, works. Just wish the whole movie wasn’t shot with a shaky camera…
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The Aviator (2004)
Way too long. There’s an obvious attempt at preserving historical detail and sequences of events, but if a biodocumentary was Scorsese’s aim, then it shouldn’t have been marketed as Hollywood gloss. If it was meant to be Hollywood gloss, Scorsese should have had the sense to cut out large chunks…
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The Forgotten (2004)
Not bad. The alien idea made it a much bigger movie. Just think this movie needed another important character with another star. Great car accident.
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Meatballs (1979)
Doesn’t hold up that well. The comedy may have been rebellious back then, but watching it now, it seems juvenile and witless. Murray’s a genius, but you can’t tell here.
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AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)
Not bad. That monster vs. monster thing always works, and it was pretty cool how the chick and the Predator became friends. Nice action sequences. Those Predators have some pretty cool weapons.
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Eurotrip (2004)
After seeing Van Wilder the night before, I was hoping this would be just as smart. But it wasn’t. Nice tit scenes, though.
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Waiting for Guffman (1996)
Kinda funny in a very low-key, off-beat way. The play was actually pretty darn good.
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A View to a Kill (1985)
Fun to watch as it was probably the best Bond movie of the 80’s, and one of the last good ones before Dalton and Brosnan and shit stories turned it to crap. But it’s not that great. Moore is OK, Grace Jones is a bit scary.
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Van Wilder (2002)
Dismissed it when it came out, but it was funny! Probably the smartest, feel-good school movie since the 80’s. Reynolds is the new Chevy Chase. So happy to see that his style of humor is not lost forever.
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Elektra (2005)
Blah. The best moment was probably when Garner kissed the poisonous chick. Garner has a cute face, but it doesn’t seem like she’s much of an actress. It’s unfortunate that she only smiles once in this movie, as that is definitely when she looks the cutest. Awful make-up job. Her…
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The Boondock Saints (1999)
Cool idea. We’ve all wondered if people could get away with doing that sort of thing. One of Dafoe’s best performances. He really is quite an actor.
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She’s the One (1996)
Like a lot of low-budget, independent movies (and like all of Kevin Smith’s movies), the dialogue feels scripted and the story’s not very smart.
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Major League (1989)
Classic 80’s feel-good movie. Lots of things work well: the great characters, the story, the music. Even the baseball action is pretty good. Baseball flaw: At the end of the movie, Taylor calls his shot but intends to bunt. Yet when the first pitch is delivered to him, he does…
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The Bourne Supremacy (2004)
A bit more action than the first one. Great car chase. Nice, powerful score, but a bit too much handheld camera.
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Garden State (2004)
Braff is in love with himself. It’s too bad he’s not funny or engaging. A desperate attempt to combine the oddball deadpan of Wes Anderson with the crazy darkness of Donnie Darko with an uninteresting story about teen angst (with the requisite scene glorifying drug use by simulating its effects…
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Shaun of the Dead (2004)
If Guy Ritchie had made 28 Days Later, this would be the result. Fun to watch. Pegg is excellent. Great expressions and timing. He has a certain Dave Foley quality.
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The Incredibles (2004)
Incredible. Another outstanding feature from Pixar. Story, characters, action, and animation are all fantastic. That 50’s thing really seems to work for superhero/monster animated features (Sky Captain, Iron Giant).
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)
Good characters, good acting, interesting, emotional. Same offbeat comedy and campy 70’s feel as Royal Tenenbaums and Rushmore. Tenenbaums’ Hackman and Paltrow are ably replaced by a wimpy Dafoe and Blanchett. I like the way Anderson’s career is going.
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Shrek 2 (2004)
Lacks the originality of the first one, but just as smart. The cat is wonderful. Countless amusing references.
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Ocean’s Twelve (2004)
More than anything, it’s just a bunch of movie stars hanging around and having a good time. Stylish like the original, but there’s just not enough story. The twists keep piling up on each other to the point that I don’t want to get attached to any of the characters…
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Sex, Lies, and Videotape (1989)
Engaging and personal. The story runs a bit slow at times, with Spader’s bumbling dialogue almost bringing it all to a halt at times. Soderbergh’s directing skills are apparent. The beginning of a successful and productive relationship with Cliff Martinez. Although the acting is imperfect, the characters are great. Very…
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Hero (2002)
Just not much fun. The Rashomon-inspired story is meager, the characters are uninteresting. The martial arts and swordplay are pretty good, but the wire stunts are artificial and the effects are a few dollars short of Matrix quality. Lots of nice photography and fabulous use of color, but what for?…
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Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Great action and lots of nice shots. The train scene is pretty amazing. Funny! Maguire is believable and entertaining, Molina is refreshingly real, and Simmons is once again perfect.
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Alexander (2004)
Obviously a tribute to the historical figure. An epic story, but a bit slow and rolling, making the running length seem much longer than it really is. A few moments of real drama and some gripping action scenes punctuate the storyline. Some of these battles we’ve never seen before. The…
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In America (2002)
Choked me up. Fabulously made by Sheridan, and the acting is fantastic. The kids were truly magical. Where are the Oscars? Maybe a hair long.
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The Stepford Wives (2004)
It’s got some stars in it, but it’s not a very moving story, and it’s a bit slow. How were they able to fool Mike at the moment of truth in his complex? Kidman is good in a familiar role as a paranoid woman trying to figure out how the…
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National Treasure (2004)
Another one off the Hollywood conveyor belt. Not bad, but nothing special. While I like Cage, I think he’s getting a bit old and goofy to be an action star, I think. Kruger is hot.
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Cosmic Voyage (1996)
Better effects than Cosmos, but not nearly as in-depth. It’s almost “dumbed down” a bit.
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Bowling for Columbine (2002)
Moore is very resourceful, graphic, funny, and matter-of-fact in his informative critique of America’s gun culture. Llike Fahrenheit 9/11, it gets a bit convoluted at times, but in the end it’s a thorough and thoughtful exploration of the topic.
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Mean Girls (2004)
Pretty witty high school comedy, like Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion. Smarter than most SNL productions. McAdams is hot, and Chabert has grown up nicely.
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Van Helsing (2004)
Very glossy, in that the lighting, framing, and effects are all perfect. Unfortunately, the non-stop action prevents the development of a story. Beckinsale is smoking.
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Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
I think Tarantino loves himself too much. Nice music, some pretty good kung fu (with a silly amount of blood). Overall there’s just way too much style and not enough story.
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The Castle (1997)
I really wanted this one to be funny, but it really wasn’t. I wanted it to be witty and smart, but it was just silly. I was hoping Bana would shine in a minor role, but he was nothing. The story is mildly interesting, and Caton’s decent performance carries it.…
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Cold Mountain (2003)
Good as a period piece, with what feels like authentic civil war action and a brutal look at frontier life. But the story is lacking. This guy risks everything to return home to a woman that he hardly knows, the reunion is weird and unsatisfying, and then he’s shot dead?…
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Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004)
Pretty cool story, if not a bit slow. The acting is all refreshingly nostaligic. Amazing that they used Olivier. Very comic-like, much better than Batman and The Hulk. The soft glow gives it a nice feel and helps to mask most of the CGI work. Wouldn’t it be cool to…
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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
Total mindfuck of a movie. Very effective in making things dream-like, with its set design, cinematography, editing, special effects, and music all working to make you feel like you’re looking at things you shouldn’t be looking at, like you’re running but not getting anywhere. Carrey is wonderful. Made from a…
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Rundown (2003)
The Rock is cool, a good action hero. Not too cocky and kinda funny. Scott is also really good, and he’s also a bit built, too. I see bigger things for him in the future. Lots of good action (although the wire stunts weren’t perfect) and some really cool photography…
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I Spy (2002)
Very funny. Wilson’s comedy and gags are hilarious, and Murphy returns to his ghetto comedy roots for the first time in years. They’re a great team.
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Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)
Amazingly put together. For a documentary, it‚Äôs raising the bar. I can‚Äôt imagine how many man-hours went into collecting the archival footage and editing it together so effectively. Moore effectively delivers his statement. Five minutes into it, I was already hating Bush, and for the rest of the film, Moore…
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The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Pretty good, probably the perfect film for Emmerich to make. Light on story (every moment feels like a plot point) and character, but a grandiose stage for some really nice effects. All of the effects are very real-looking, and the closing shot of the planet was spectacular. The Statue of…
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I'm a photographer, web developer, travel enthusiast, and movie buff living in Alexandria, Virginia, USA.In the summer of 1993, I started writing reviews for every movie I saw and haven't looked back. I'm up to 2,363 reviews now. This makes me cool or a complete dork, depending on your perspective.
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