The Natural (1984)
Another period piece by Levinson that’s a bit long and slow. Elements of Pride Of The Yankees, Eight Men Out, and Major League. Does every baseball movie have to have an underdog hero, goofy teammates, scrupulous owners, and an out-of-reach love interest? Hobbs is a bit shady, so it’s hard…
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Troy (2004)
Was very excited about this one, but it falls a bit flat because the characters are not very well-developed. Bana is pretty good but I’m beginning to wonder if he’s really as talented as I thought he was after I first saw Chopper. Pitt’s OK, not quite as stunning as…
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Office Space (1999)
Coming from Mike Judge, I was afraid it would be cartoonish and dumb, but it was OK. Just a bit of overacting, and a few funny moments. Wish it was just a bit more subtle. Paul Willson looks just like Diedrich Bader.
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Above the Law (1988)
Seagal’s got some cool moves, but I’ve never bought into him as an action hero. He’s balding and he runs like a faggot. Chicks in his movies love him for no reason.
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Dead Presidents (1995)
A long movie that keeps us engaged because a lot happens and it’s well-told. Tate is turning into quite the actor. Tucker’s always fun to watch.
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Why Do Fools Fall In Love (1998)
The story follows Lymon up and down but doesn’t really go anywhere. Being biographical isn’t enough. Nava tries to make it artsy with various film stocks and editing but they don’t improve the film at all. Music sequences are lively but the dubbed singing takes away from them. Nice cast…
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Drunken Master (1978)
A pretty good story, better than I would have expected for an old kung fu movie. The kind of comedy they could get away with is amazing. Jackie’s pretty good, and the old man can really move. The sound effects are hilarious but typical: wind for fast punches, smacks for…
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Matchstick Men (2003)
Con man gets conned – a familiar formula. A bit slow, but a nice twist and a comfortable ending. I love the wink. Muted colors provide a nice effect. Good music.
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The Ladykillers (2004)
The Coen brothers are becoming a bit formulaic, with most of their recent movies being offbeat comedies about characters on the fringe playing dumb. Good acting all around, and great casting. Some funny moments, especially the IBS bit. Shit humor never gets old. Watching bodies fall into the garbage barge…
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Diner (1982)
A slice of life from the 50’s. Costume and set design is great, acting is genuine, dialogue is very natural. Levinson doing what he does best and with a nice cast. But it’s all a bit slow. Nothing too significant happens. Some focus-pulling and sound sync problems, common in other…
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Dreams (1990)
Very colorful, and the effects are OK (although outdone by higher-budget productions like What Dreams May Come). Excruciatingly slow. I guess a movie about dreams doesn’t have narrative responsibility.
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Eight Men Out (1988)
Sayles creates a very literary, scripted film with stock characters. A bit long, but the subject matter is well-storied and the movie covered everything that I suppose it needed to. Nice cast, but Strathairn would have made a better Shoeless Joe. Not everyone could play, so the baseball action was…
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28 Days Later… (2002)
A scary movie and interesting social comment. Just the right amount of humanity and hope to make it fulfilling. Boyle’s style keeps us engaged, setting the mood with music and scaring us with jarring, high-speed photography. Interesting shots and well-used effects throughout. The empty London shots are amazing. Murphy and…
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Old School (2003)
Another classic in the tradition of college frat movies like Animal House and PCU. Phillips’ timing is pretty good. Ferrell is funny, and Wilson is showing us that he’s a talented guy. Piven is miscast, I think. You’d expect a TV guy like Kilborn to be a decent actor, but…
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The Triplets of Belleville (2003)
Probably the most stylistic and witty animation since The Wall, but the story’s a bit long and silly, and the characters are mere caricatures, so it’s hard to take things seriously.
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Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)
The story doesn’t substantiate its length. Not enough happens. We’re more wrapped up with the intricacies and vocabulary of seamanship than we are with plot. The characters are not well-developed, couldn’t keep the names straight. Crowe doesn’t do it for me. There’s always something about him that’s a bit reclusive…
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The Last Samurai (2003)
A cross between Braveheart, Dances With Wolves, and Zwick’s own Last of the Mohicans. Zwick’s best, and probably Cruise’s best, too. Nice to see him as a weary, older man. I love the fact that he’s a bit understated, only speaking when he has to. It’s a very appealing quality…
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Big Fish (2003)
A touching story peppered by a few moments that I didn’t really get, but the moral of the film, that stories make people immortal, is a good one. Another Burton film about characters on the fringe. Good young/old casting, and great accents by predominantly English actors. Some of Burton’s favorites…
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Seabiscuit (2003)
All over the place, almost a touching story. Who was it about? The horse? The jockey? The owner? The trainer? Cars? America? Georgie has got to be the most redeeming character in the history of film. Some neat photography, and the thundering charge when Seabiscuit really takes off is awesome.
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The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
Probably the best of the three, but like the others, too literary. Too many strange character names and place names to keep up with. A clearer idea of what’s going on would have made things a lot more dramatic. Finally, there’s closure, and it’s as refreshing as it was in…
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Cleopatra (1963)
Not interesting enough to support its length. Not sure if it’s even possible to be interesting enough. Lavish costumes and sets, but an unfortunate victim of 60’s mainstream filmmaking: long and boring takes, wall-to-wall dialogue, everyone has English accents, too many strings in the score. Taylor doesn’t do it for…
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The Out of Towners (1970)
Pretty funny for an older movie. There aren’t too many older movies with such sarcasm. A good road comedy, very much like Planes, Trains, & Automobiles. Great writing by Simon, and except for a few especially theatrical moments, Lemmon delivers perfectly. He’s a master at combining voice, expression, and situation…
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Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat (2003)
The animated intro graphics are probably the most faithful to Seuss’ vision and the most interesting few seconds of the film. Loud sound effects and Myers laughing at himself get old. Sprinkling what is mostly a silly kids film with inappropriate toilet humor doesn’t work. And the whole movie is…
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Elf (2003)
OK. Ferrell is capable of funnier stuff, most of this seemed too scripted. Deschanel’s a cutie and a great singer. The end was touching. I think it would have been great if the movie as a whole was a more serious story about the spirit of Christmas. Without Ferrell, of…
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The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
The plot’s a bit convoluted. Not sure it needed to be this complicated. The dialogue continues to be enigmatic, almost laughable at times. Interesting to see that Keanu, who clearly cannot act, did not have the use of his eyes (an actor’s most emotive tool) in the film’s most dramatic…
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The Office (2001–2003)
One of the funniest things ever on television. Don’t think humor this subtle would ever catch on in America.
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Life Is Beautiful (1997)
Nice story. Mixes comedy with drama quite effectively, like Signs. The most fascinating thing to see, I think, is watching someone who is always funny trying to deal with a serious situation. I would have liked to see Benigni get even more serious, and to see things get even more…
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The Scorpion King (2002)
Paint-by-numbers story and action and effects, but they really lost me with the electric guitars. Rock was kinda funny, but I know he could have been a lot funnier. I know he’s capable of it. That arm-wrestling chick was incredible.
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The Sum of All Fears (2002)
About what I expected. A complicated, literary plot about nukes involving enough people to make it a pain in the ass to watch. I suppose Affleck makes a good Jack Ryan.
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Flashdance (1983)
Not much happens, doesn’t really go anywhere. A bit disjointed and unpolished like a lot of 80’s movies. The ending kind sucked. Beals is hot. Got a boner watching her eat lobster. She’s is like Ralph Macchio in so many ways. But she’s unrealistically normal. She swears a lot and…
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Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Feels like a Disney movie. Would have liked to see a bit more edge to it. Action’s not bad, and the skeleton effects were well-done. A bit long. Depp is magnetic, and I love the pirate language they all use.
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Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (2001)
Touching war romance, although it would have been really impressive if the whole thing was in subtitles. The most interesting character, I thought, was the sympathetic Nazi. The war footage was OK.
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Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
Pretty good for a non-Cameron installment. They actually came up with a story worth telling, which was my biggest concern. Mostow stays pretty faithful to the original movies and, by introducing inevitable self-destruction, finds a way for the story to keep going. I think Arnie will now abandon movies and…
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L.A. Confidential (1997)
Russell Crowe plays one of the most intense mofos I have ever seen. Riveting. Pearce was good too. Spacey’s death stare was awesome. Basinger was OK. A lot of the Oscar-nominated acting came from the script, I think. Complicated plot. Why Crowe would so easily fall in love with a…
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Basic (2003)
Not a fan of Travolta or movies that leave us in the dark. I start to think that everything I am seeing is BS and I get bored waiting for the truth. Another Rashomon-like whodunnit. Refreshing to see a protagonist embracing evil for a change. Nielsen’s hot but her crap…
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The Hulk (2003)
Lee tries to make a comic story more dramatic than it really is and ends up with a film that is too long with a not-so-great story. The hush-hush military thing gets old. Bana, like Pitt, shouldn’t waste his time playing guys who are trying to be normal. They should…
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Shanghai Knights (2003)
Jackie’s gimmicky fight sequences are still good (he’s still amazingly acrobatic), and Wilson’s free-flowing dialogue is entertaining. Gillen’s great with a sword and looks like Edward Burns. Overall, a reasonably good adventure. But when the outtakes at the end are more entertaining than the movie, that tells you something.
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Adaptation. (2002)
A bit long and windy for me. It’s all over the place. Watching this movie is like riding a bucking bronco. I’d rather ride a Porsche. Cage his great, especially his monologues. Cooper is perfect, Streep is depressingly real, and Swinton’s always a high-class slut. Cool getting the cast back…
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Sweet Home Alabama (2002)
Chick flick. Hollow and stupid, as expected. Embry is kinda appealing.
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The Italian Job (2003)
How can we morally support greedy characters who NEED the gold when can just shoot him and be done with it? Not too well-made. The veering helicopter is retarded. Some OK car chases, Mini’s are cool! Most of the comedy just doesn’t work, save one moment when Seth imitates Statham.…
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Bruce Almighty (2003)
Carrey’s pretty funny. I wonder how much is written for him and how much he improvises. In any case, when things get dramatic, toning it down a bit would make it easier for us to sympathize with him when things got dramatic. The homeless guy with the signs was irritating…
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The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
A tough act to follow. Obviously, not as original as the first. The plot’s a bit convoluted, everyone one-ups each other with the same enigmatic dialogue, the fight scenes are a bit too CGIed, the timing’s a bit off (witness the super-long tribal dance scene). Something’s just not quite right…
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Unfaithful (2002)
A disturbing but well-made psychological journey. Interesting exploration of how a jealous man can drive away his wife. Hits home for any guy who’s ever been remotely jealous before. He took it pretty well, all things considered. Artfully done. Beautiful direction, credit graphics, montage sequences, and music. The understated direction…
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X2 (2003)
Good, but somehow lacking the appeal of the first one. Some nice action scenes but not enough of them. Cool characters. Nightcrawler was fantastic, and Hugh Jackman continues to be a stud. This is Jackman’s defining role.
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Jackass: The Movie (2002)
Lots of vomit. Some of the stunts are truly hilarious, others I didn’t need to see. More funny and less gross would have made this easier to watch the whole way through.
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The Others (2001)
The Innocents meets The Sixth Sense. A classic, pretty spooky haunted house thriller. Good acting all around. Nicely shot considering all of the extremely tricky lighting situations.
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Spirited Away (2001)
Another fable from Miyazaki. The characters (except for Hokul, whose dragon form seems to have been ripped off from The NeverEnding Story), animation, and score are all fantastic, all very similar to Princess Mononoke. But I have a problem with the story. Just doesn’t seem like the right mix. Too…
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Dr T and the Women (2000)
One of the worst movies I’ve seen in a while. The first scene was a bit shocking, but the last scene was even more shocking. Vaginal bookends. Silly and overly tragic, almost like a Bunuel film. Super-long takes (especially at the beginning) are unnecessary and boring. Lovett’s swingy, bouncing music…
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The Tuxedo (2002)
Jackie talks a lot more, and he’s funny! Isaacs is a stud, and Hewitt is pretty good. I’m tired of seeing Stormare play quirky weirdos.
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The Life of David Gale (2003)
Powerful story with a few twists. The TV debate scene was fantastic. Spacey’s got a gripping stare, like Pacino. It’s really him who carries the movie. Linney is OK. Every single second of dialogue between Winslet and the intern is horrible. Some sound sync problems.
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Ocean’s Eleven (2001)
Soderbergh knows how to make interesting films. Almost like a tame, American Guy Ritchie film. I wonder how realistic all that security mumbo-jumbo was. Pitt’s acting isn’t so great, but it’s an ensemble cast, and everyone is very smooth.
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Blade Runner (1982)
The happy ending changes the whole mood of the movie. It’s better as a darker film.
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Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
More of the same, but he seems to be getting funnier. The statue pissing scene and the silhouette scene had me in tears. Some nice twists for a change. The casting of the young powers and Evil was fantastic.
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The Bourne Identity (2002)
What’s to gain by running? And there certainly must be some protocol to follow when a $13 million assassin is confronted with his victim’s kids. Damon is great, a much better actor than his buddy Affleck. Good action, Damon seems pretty good at it. And his accents are really good.…
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Biloxi Blues (1988)
It’s pretty obvious that it came from a play. Long takes, faggily theatrical acting, and dated/stunted dialogue, not much score, no montage, little camera movement. Just a collection of large, dialogue-driven scenes. The young Broderick is good. Same appeal as in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
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The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
Long and drawn out montage of choral vistas and violin close-ups, like the first one, but with a bit more fighting. Very literary. I can appreciate, but do not necessarily agree with, Jackson’s staunch loyalty to the book. Had a hard time keeping all of the names and places straight.…
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About A Boy (2002)
Touching story. Grant is really clever. Always is. Great cast and performances all around.
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XXX (2002)
Stays half a step ahead of stupidity. And the action’s not bad. A couple of bad lines. Diesel plays a reluctant James Bond, and the formula works. He’s got a body, and he’s not a cocky son-of-a-bitch, like I expected. He’s funny. Asia’s pretty hot, too.
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A Christmas Story (1983)
Retarded. A few almost funny moments with the kids, but that’s about it.
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Donnie Darko (2001)
Like a high school version of Magnolia. Very off-beat but very real at the same time. Very eclectic and talented cast. The Gyllenhaals are fantastic, Dad is really funny, Malone is cute and good. Impressed that Barrymore tried to play a real character for once. The dialogue is very natural.
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Superman II (1980)
Nice story, well-told. How did two mortals make it to a hot dog stand from the North Pole? Great ending. Effects are not bad for it’s time, although the square mirror things was kinda gay. The Superman music is perfect. Reeve was hilarious as Clark. Hackman (who surprisingly got top…
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Ben-Hur (1959)
A bit long and slow. Ben-Hur’s swaying loalties are interesting, but not enough to keep the epic afloat. Heston’s good at playing the incapacitated but rebellious prisoner. The burping moment was classic. He loks a bit like Paul Newman in this one. I guess gaunt, blue-eyed leading men were the…
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61* (2001)
Pepper’s not bad, Jane is OK. He’s certainly got the Mick’s swing down. Nice seeing Candiotti, but I wish we could have seen real footage of a knuckleball rather than a CGI. Sterile, like a Ron Howard film. Everyone is so perfect and righteous and well-spoken and well-grooomed. The acting…
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Destroy All Monsters (1968)
A world of miniatures, badly aimed missiles, staunch but stupid military types, and scientific silliness. Cool how the whole Godzilla movement sprang out of the WWII bombing in Japan.
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Solaris (2002)
A beautifully made film. The airy story, FX imagery, and haunting score all work together seamlessly. I’m inclined to think that this was entirely Soderbergh’s baby and that Cameron had little, if any, influence at all. I suspect Cameron truly enjoys this film because he knows he is incapable of…
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Cosmos (1980)
Not really a movie, but as a collected work, it’s magnificent. Sagan is a bit wordy at times, and there are a few moments when he doesn’t seem genuinely interested in what he’s talking about, but he is for the most part a great speaker who infuses his subject matter…
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A Beautiful Mind (2001)
A mildly touching portrait of a freak, like Rain Man. Probably Howard’s best. He’s just so sterile sometimes. Lots of clicheed acting and dialogue. Friends, lovers, and adversaries are all cookie-cutter characters. Crowe mumbles. Is it the character, or is it him? Either way, it’s a bit annoying. He’s quirky…
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The Goonies (1985)
Adventure story about suburban kids, typical for Spielberg. Lots of goofy, cartoonish humor. A few sound sync problems. Probably would have enjoyed it a lot more back then when those sensibilities of style, humor, and filmmaking were in vogue. There’s something strangely appealing about Plimpton.
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Dungeons & Dragons (2000)
Not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Would have been nice if the characters had a bit more background and the comedy was bit edgier. It should have been patterned after the old D&D Saturday morning cartoon, which was awesome. The main character is not very masculine,…
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The Ring (2002)
Pretty creepy, especially the first half. The kid is creepy, too. Watts is a cutie, reminds me quite a bit of Nicole Kidman. Pretty cool to hear that they are close friends.
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Taxi Driver (1976)
De Niro is perfect as a skinny, pale freak. For a change, he plays a normal guy going nuts rather than a guy who’s nuts to begin with. Keitel is marvelously faggoty. Foster is incredibly composed for a young girl. Nice snapshot of the 70’s. The main theme is way…
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Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999)
Boyz In The Hood meets The Professional. A horribly slow and boring long rap video interspersed with cryptic and idiotic samurai sayings. One of the worst character studies ever. Why does everyone like him? Does he have a girlfriend? All he does is walk around and think. A lot of…
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One Hour Photo (2002)
An OK thriller. Doesn’t quite have enough of anything to be great. The Kubrickian dream (and the Kubrickian moments throughout the film) were great.
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Three Kings (1999)
Three kings, but there were really four of them, no? Wahlberg and Clooney are engaging. But why would they take the idiot with them, and even leave him in charge for a few moments? Nice tension. Interesting vidual effects and great set design.
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Amélie (2001)
A harmony of charm, style, cuteness, and light humor about life’s little things. This is a movie about nothing, but the richness of its characters is almost enough to keep it afloat for the entire two hours. I really like what Jeunet did with this one. Brilliant writing and wonderful…
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Hysterical Blindness (2002)
An authentic slice of life from the 80’s. Very well-written, well-acted, and well-directed. Interesting in that is just follows the two main characters through their daily lives without the single, life-changing, dramatic event that most other movies have. The result is a story that is unpredictable and characters that are…
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Revenge (1990)
Pretty good. Definitely a Costner vehicle, and he runs with it. He sure likes to show off his bum. Quinn is great, and Stowe is sexy. Scott loves to use those sky filters. Nice bridge with Top Gun. That cat claw scene was hilarious.
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Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)
Story’s kinda cool, but the dialogue is a bit old and stunted, and the effects just don’t compare to today’s. Didn’t realize they stole the “Next Generation” score from the Star Trek movies.
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S1m0ne (2002)
Al is getting old but prevents this poorly-directed film from completely tanking.
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The Sweetest Thing (2002)
There’s Something About Mary for women. Applegate and Blair strangely appealing. Diaz is not.
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Reign of Fire (2002)
Not very engaging, generic. I think Bale, and even McConaughey, is capable of better.
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Signs (2002)
Scariest movie I’ve seen in a while, like War of the Worlds (the dialogue reference was a bit jarring) meets Children of the Corn. I like how it all takes place on a farm, with only blips of international media. This is the product of an educated filmmaker. Many moments…
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Major League II (1994)
OK, as good as could be expected, but could never possibly match the originality of the first one. It was about what I expected in a follow-up: the plot lacked the originality of the first one, and the comedy was a little sillier. Wait, they’ve won the division twice. Shouldn’t…
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Minority Report (2002)
Cruise is OK, the precog girl was kinda cool. But I wouldn’t want to see it again. The story was very literary, dragged a bit.
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Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002)
The movie’s nice and long, bridging the other movies more effectively than any of the others. It makes other movies better as it does the most to connect them all and make characters in the other stories more complete (this is what I feel is one of the greatest problems…
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The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Long and involved, I wonder if it has to be that way. Not sure I’m totally comfortable with the whole “this is going to be a trilogy” concept. I believe they should be three distinct stories, not just one story split up into three chapters. I had the same problem…
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Panic Room (2002)
Foster and Forrest and the little girl are good. Yoakum is also surprisingly good. A couple of questionable lines of dialogue. Nice simple story. Hitchcockian, like What Lies Beneath. The moment where the cops ask the guy to show his palms so money flies away for dramatic eeffect and to…
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The Truth About Charlie (2002)
Not sure Wahlberg can carry a movie. Newton can’t, even though she does prove to be a bit more human than in Mission Impossible 2. What’s with the woman in black? Lots of twists, but who cares. When they prevent us from siding with any of the characters, they prevent…
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Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001)
Every couple of years, a foreign film trickles in and sweeps the nation. A cross between Princess Mononoke and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Was this a true story? Le Bihon looks like Mickey Rourke, and Mani looks fantastic for 38 (really?!). But what gave the white dude the seemingly supernatural…
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Black Hawk Down (2001)
Slightly long. Would have preferred to get to know one of the characters more (how about bana) and shorten it a bit. The cinematography is good, looks like people learned a few things from Saving Private Ryan. The gatling guns pretty cool. Now I have some historical perspective. I had…
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Made (2001)
Nice Swingers-like style. Wonderful writing by Favreau, but perhaps a bit too much of it. Vaughn gets downright annoying at times, especially during when the story stops just so that we can hear him rant.
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The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
Great characters and cast and acting all around (Paltrow and Luke are mesmerizing). I’d like to see Luke do drama. Owen and Stiller work great together. Murray’s comedy is getting so obscure that it’s hard to see sometimes. Very sarcastic, mildly dark humor, like Rushmore. The film is even *shot*…
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K-PAX (2001)
Spacey turns in another engaging portrayal of a guy who’s just a little bit off. This is an updated Starman, and ironically, Bridges plays the normal guy in this one. The only thing that convinces me that he is in fact an alien is his detailed knowledge of his star…
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Life As A House (2001)
For a guy who hasn’t been touched in years, he sure gets a lot of action in the few months before he dies. A carbon-copy of American Beauty. Similar in so many ways. Kline and Christensen are good. Thomas is OK but her stunted accent is distracting.
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I'm a photographer, web developer, travel enthusiast, and movie buff living in Alexandria, Virginia, USA.In the summer of 1993, I started writing reviews for every movie I saw and haven't looked back. I'm up to 2,363 reviews now. This makes me cool or a complete dork, depending on your perspective.
Some of these reviews contain spoilers, so if that bothers you, don't read!
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