Twins (1988)
Cute. With the cheap laughs and heartstrings, it’s standard 80’s comedy. Arnold’s first foray into comedy. He’s so darn goofy.
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The Nasty Girl (1990)
Odd. Unpleasantly odd. It’s kind of like 1984, in that it deals with the present trying to recreate the past to suit the needs of the government.
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La Femme Nikita (1990)
Great story (seemed a bit like Mission: Impossible) with the same flavor as The Professional. This one felt a lot like a Cameron film. Lots of light blues. Also a Terminator 2 line about Uncle Bob and a Josephine/Doris twist from True Lies. The main actress was great in the…
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Bugsy (1991)
Decent. Warren Beatty sometimes looks a bit like D.B. Sweeney, who looks exactly like Mike Lansing of the Expos. Nasty death scene for Bugsy.
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Tongues Untied (1989)
A revolutionary bore. “Brotha to brotha” sounded cool. The confessionals were WAY too contrived.
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Reservoir Dogs (1992)
A good story, good characters, good acting, good style, and a very interesting storytelling technique. It is interesting how time sets the plot for this whole movie. I think it is much more interesting than the way time is manipulated in My Own Private Idaho. The transitions in this movie…
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Above the Rim (1994)
Interesting “good nigger/bad nigger” dichotomy (a black USC professor used those terms to describe the film, so don’t get on my ass). And kinda neat to see how blacks unconditionally love each other. I have to admit, the booming rap music sounds good and really powerful in the theater. But…
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The Hudsucker Proxy (1994)
Kind of a fantasy and satire of capitalism, just like Brazil or Metropolis. A super-exaggeration of a capitalist society and working world. Overall, a bit too surreal for me, almost a spoof. The satire goes overboard. A rags-to-riches-to-rags-to riches story. Good story, but I’m sure I’ve seen the same storyline…
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The Santa Clause (1994)
Tim Allen played a role tailor-made for Chevy. It’s a Disney movie, and it’s Chevy’s particular brand of humor. Although a few lines are not Chevy-esque, most are. I’m surprised he didn’t do it. I think a younger Chevy would have been the first choice for the role. He would…
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When A Man Loves A Woman (1994)
Meg Ryan once again uses her cuteness and realistic acting to tell a touching story of love and family.
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Desperado (1995)
Some parts had good cinematography, others were a bit cheesy. A lot of the action is kinda gay. Banderas was pretty good, but I think this could have been a great movie if he had played it off more like a comedy. Buscemi was great.
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Nine Months (1995)
Decent movie, some semi-funny moments. But Hugh Grant does nothing for me, and neither does anyone else in this movie (except maybe Robin Williams).
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2 Days in the Valley (1996)
The story is OK, and I can see how it resembled Pulp Fiction like people are saying, but it wasn’t quite as good. I really think they should have expanded on the massage parlour scene, easliy the funniest part of the movie. That could have been a great romantic comedy…
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From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
Basically a cross between Natural Born Killers and The Lost Boys. I had a great time watching this movie, and I bet Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino had a great time making it. You could definitely see the influence of both Rodriguez and Tarantino in the action and casting. Clooney…
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Secrets & Lies (1996)
The story lagged a bit in the beginning, but once the primary storyline became clear, I became more and more attached to it. The only question that remains is who the Black father was. Good and interesting casting and acting. The comedy is good. The long takes are fantastic.
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Boogie Nights (1997)
An interesting story with interesting characters, and a nice leisurely pace. Very well-directed. A lot of really nice directorial choices, shots, and moments. They could have really screwed it up with a really shy camera or an overly graphic camera, but the film seemed to have the perfect balance. The…
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Kiss the Girls (1997)
All the emotion comes from close-ups and camera shaking, not the story. Nauseating close-ups throughout the entire movie. We’re talking eyes to lips close-ups. Hardly a single longshot. The few that there are are refreshing. They say that they tried not to make it like Seven, but it seemed to…
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BASEketball (1998)
Definitely Zucker humor. Same style as Airplane, only this one’s a bit smarter. Smart, socially aware, dumb humor. Even their improv is pretty good. Watching all the celebrities make fun of themselves was great.
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Lethal Weapon 4 (1998)
Cartoonish and unrealistic at times. Overall, the action and stunts are pretty good, but I didn’t like the way they tried to mix comedy with action. All that does is make the action seem unimportant and silly. It worked for True Lies because that film revels in over-the-topness like Bond…
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The Thin Red Line (1998)
Supposedly, Mallick shot over a million feet of film for this movie. I think most of it made its way into the final cut. Excruciatingly long and slow. An impressionaistic look at the philosophy and hypocrisy of war. War poetry. No comparison to Saving Private Ryan. They are both totally…
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Cruel Intentions (1999)
Cool characters to begin with, but they turn out to be so stereotypically unrealistic that we don’t care what happens to them. The story grew on me a bit when Phillippe began to change for the better. Gellar, Gellar, Gellar. Don’t like her attitude too much but she sure is…
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Nothing (1999)
A pretty good get-to-know-the-director piece. Touching because it’s so personal. Interesting ending. Same themes as Baggage (getting a grip on reality, film vs. past). Bad acting, dialogue fits the film too nicely. Tons of metaphors, much like Spike Lee. Aaronson is also an NYU grad. Masturbation on the bus trip?
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My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)
Just didn’t think it was funny. Obvious humor, not much drama. Although you can give credit to Vardalos for getting this movie made, the movie feels like it’s all about her, and that’s not a good thing.
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Jack and the Beanstalk (1952)
As a musical, it’s goofy. As a romance, it’s cheesy. As an action-adventure, it’s silly. And as a comedy, it’s just not funny. Witless, dumb gags, horrible timing. They certainly went downhill after “Who’s on First”. Costello seems like a cross between Nathan Lane and John Belushi. Abbott looked like…
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The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)
For a classic, this film has some pretty shitty uses of a motion picture camera. The expressionistic fades are just dumb. They are used too much and get annoying after a while. An interesting Psycho stabbing in the shadows. Veidt is cool.
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Geheimnisse einer Seele (1926)
Way too much psychology for me. It’s basically a Freudian psychoanalysis of a fucked up man, an educational tool for budding psychologists. Kind of a neat dream, though.
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The Music Box (1932)
Laurel and Hardy aren’t so funny, but a few of the situations are. The hat slap was pretty funny. The piano gag gets old after a while. If Laurel didn’t talk at all (like Penn and Teller), he’d be funnier. That professor was a pretty good actor. Probably died of…
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Strange Cargo (1940)
The angel character was pretty cool, almost like a genius character. There was an awful lot of religion in this movie though, and I think it detracted from the interesting story. Some of the messages are driven so hard that they are a bit corny. Crawford is refreshing. Her imperfect,…
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Born Yesterday (1950)
Slow. An incredibly slow start for what is supposed to be a comedy. Maybe a couple of funny moments, but that’s it. That card-playing scene was OK. I like the way she talks. A few dated lines that wouldn’t work today, like “pulled a boner”. If this movie was at…
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Breathless (1960)
The plot and characters were cheesy and a bit corny. What was the deal with the lips? And what was the point of the 5-minute Eiffel Tower introduction? I didn’t know Julie Andrews was making movies in the 50’s.
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Goldfinger (1964)
OK, seems to have served as inspiration for later Bond movies and other action films. Similar car chase and ending as Goldeneye. The beginning sequence and encased nuclear bomb later appeared in True Lies. Arnie also seems to have adopted some of Connery’s snappy one-liners. Why were all of the…
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The Devils (1971)
Holy shit. This is one pretty fucked up movie. I mean, this movie is fucking nasty. So crazy and grotesque that it’s scary, nauseating, and funny at the same time. Bad date movie. I can see how, with quite a bit of toning down, it might have led to The…
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Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
Great story, great acting, and truly amazing effects for its time. There’s a sincerity and wonder in Spielberg’s vision that’s rare, especially in sci-fi. The story still holds up, though it’s striking how much “smarter” films like Contact have become in their handling of similar material. Audiences today are not…
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Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
A little better than Star Wars. There seems to be a greater grasp of drama in this one, making it seem more real. The best movie probably could have been made by synthesizing the three movies of the trilogy into one. Great special effects. Adding a few more exotic creatures…
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Pink Floyd The Wall (1982)
Makes you think. What is great art? Intelligently made, debunking my theory that the film was just an ad for the band. Great mood, a lot of cool shots. A definite Tim Burton feel. A lot more to it than Rattle and Hum. Given that the band was filled with…
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Better Off Dead (1985)
Just not very funny. The bad jokes and gags are pretty cheesy. It seems like the script was written by high school kids. You could tell what they were poking fun at, but they weren’t making it funny.
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Crocodile Dundee (1986)
Surprisingly well put together and dramatic. Good characters, good comedy, with only a bit of 80’s cheese. Really good score. Over the years, this movie might have been the biggest thing inspiring American tourists to visit Australia.
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Christmas Vacation (1989)
The franchise is starting to lose it’s lustre. Many of the same characters and actors, but let’s face it, none of the wit and charm of the first two moves. The quality writing and Chevy’s comic timing are gone. It was around this time that a) funny scripts stopped going…
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Lord of the Flies (1990)
One of many interesting and symbolic “new society” stories (naturism vs. savagery and anarchy), like Mosquito Coast (naturism vs. consumerism) or Orwell’s Animal Farm (naturism vs. savagery and anarchy), where a pig named Snowball rose to power. Somehow, I wanted the story to go further on the island before they…
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Cape Fear (1991)
A pretty good horror with definite influences from Hitchcock. De Niro’s still got that magic fire in his eyes, but you can tell he’s starting to get old. His face has become a mass of tendons and wrinkles. No more baby fat. He’s creepy and intense and mentally strong, like…
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What About Bob? (1991)
Funny problem, but the humor gets old really quick. It’s just not a funny movie. One funny scene, when Bill Murray is asleep and Dreyfuss has to wake him up.
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Scent of a Woman (1992)
Pacino is simply awesome. He has a great voice, great lines, and a fabulous way of delivering them. He’s just so cool. Great eyes, even when he’s “blind”. In fact, his awkward, dead gaze draws you in even more. We gaze right back at him to make sure we are…
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In the Name of the Father (1993)
Lewis is pretty good. Postlethwaite’s got a cool look. So did the bomber. He just looked evil and smart, like villains should. It’s nice to see Emma Thompson, but it’s almost distracting to see her in such a minor role. I would have liked to see much more of her.…
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Blown Away (1994)
This movie was what Speed could have been. They had almost the exact same mad bomber plot, and it was very evident that much more time and planning had gone into Blown Away. The acting, special effects, and direction was all higher calibre. My guess is that producers heard about…
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Il Postino: The Postman (1994)
Nice Italian flavor and story about the death of a beloved older, wiser friend, as in Cinema Paradiso. Pretty touching. That main character was definitely goofily charming. Perhaps a bit slow at times.
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The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
One of the most cleanly told, cleanly written, cleanly edited perhaps one of the most perfectly made movies ever. Exceptional acting by everyone. Robbins is perfect. Perhaps Freeman’s best performance. The warden and the guard are probably the two meanest men I have ever seen on film, and their terrific…
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Wolf (1994)
Seems almost like an exact cross between The Fly and Bram Stoker’s Dracula with a seemingly normal hero eerily transforming into an animal in a screwed up, artistic setting. An original plot and two of the most talented performers in the business. Refreshing seeing Nicholsen playing the role of a…
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Die Hard: With A Vengeance (1995)
Both the action and characters in this movie somehow seemed kind of hollow, or empty. The story was okay, but the title has to go. What a dumb title. Samuel L. Jackson really established himself by playing the same kind of wise-cracking person he has played in some of his…
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Rumble in the Bronx (1995)
Jackie is tough! The choreography is simply amazing. No, it’s badass. So damn real. And even the fake stuff (blood) looks real. Fast-paced music and great camerawork really helps the action scenes. I like the way the film teases you by hinting at the fight scene which might break out…
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The Funeral (1996)
A rip-off of The Godfather and not different enough from it to be interesting. The Tarantino time jumps aren’t too clear. And a crazy, Tarantino-ish death scene at the end, which is kind of shocking but could have been much better if the story had been more appealing and built…
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Shine (1996)
Well-made. A lot of beautiful shots, and a lot of metaphorical ones as well. Interesting to watch the development of a child prodigy. Not sure what it was that really drove him over the edge. Rafalowicz semeed more or less with it after his breakdown in the concert hall when…
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Chasing Amy (1997)
Brought back a lot of tough moments with women that I have gone through myself. I liked the drama, but I didn’t like the comedy. I just don’t like Smith’s comedy, and that makes me worry about Fletch 3. Most of the dialogue seems too scripted and unnatural. I hate…
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Liar Liar (1997)
Good story. Carrey’s expression actually put to good use. For once they’re motivated. But they must be running out of ideas for him‚Ķ
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The Big Lebowski (1998)
All the Coen movies feature strange and interesting characters in strange and interesting locales with goofball, random humor. A few decent laughs. A few Pulp Fiction-ish “it’s cool to be campy 70’s” scenes. Kind of weird that it took place in the Bush era. Was it an old script or…
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The Mask of Zorro (1998)
Wouldn’t it have been great if this film was directed by Robert Rodriguez and was in Spanish with English subtitles? The fact that the only bit of real Spanish is mocked by a white guy is almost insulting. A neat fantasy-adventure movie. The action and stunts were good. The sword-fighting…
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The Truman Show (1998)
With Carrey, I expected unbridled silliness. What I got was an interesting drama and witty satire about life and television from Peter Weir. Carrey completely nails it (dare I say Oscar-worthy?), with the perfect combination of underacting and a hint of comedy. Laura Linney as Meryl was also great and…
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Dogma (1999)
Not smart in any way. Plain photography, dumb comedy, horrible writing, an idiotic premise, little drama, and hardly as philosophical as I think it was meant to be. Those title cards were awful. I’m just not a Kevin Smith Fan. Very eclectic cast. Ridiculously unrealistic writing and dialogue results in…
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Payback (1999)
A couple of entertaining moments, but not too much of a story. The biggest problem is that we have no idea who Porter is, where he comes from, or why he is doing this. Why is he so stupid? Why would this guy, who has a history of crime and…
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Spider-Man (2002)
Good reality-based story with similar appeal as X-Men, but not good enough to be one of the highest-grossing films ever. Funny how all super-hero stories are actually the same. Maguire was actually a nice choice, but Dunst is a bit shifty. Would have liked someone like Gellar in that role…
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The Kid (1921)
Decent comedy, Chaplin has done better. Love his Chevy-like humor of subtlety. The kid and the flying dog are funny. Brisk is pretty good. Why do all villains in these older movies (like Voyage to the Moon), especially supernatural characters like aliens or devils, always wear tights? That guy may…
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Tramp, Tramp, Tramp (1926)
Langdon’s just not funny. The camera does a lot of staring at Langdon when he’s not doing anything. A Chaplin-wannabe. How did he even get the chance to act, much less become famous? Featuring James Cromwell as the Dad. Like The Freshman, a lot of advanced music for its time.…
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Vampyr (1932)
The film starts with a good 2 minutes of music on a black screen. The rest of the film is slow and boring. Nothing happens. Nice “Slut” at the end.
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Bambi (1942)
Made back when Disney made real classics. The sheer spectacle of the integration of music with high-quality color animation was enough to woo audiences back then, and the films were not yet ruined by toy merchandising, the abuse of pop songs, fast cuts, and commercialism in general. Unfortunately, today the…
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Rashomon (1950)
Very slow-moving. If this movie was temporally compressed by a factor of 600, it could have passed for an episode of “Perry Mason.” Geez, that girl had funky eyebrows.
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The Young Philadelphians (1959)
Pretty long, and not good enough to support its length. Nice illustration of the transition from Classical Hollywood films. Newman (playing the hot-headed lawyer like Tom Cruise in The Firm) and the girl were young, refreshing, and kinda funny sometimes. Newman is a good-looking guy, but he was a bit…
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Doctor Zhivago (1965)
Slow and boring, with in-depth studies of few characters and only a couple of different sets. Would make a good play. Sharif was engaging. Julie Christie’s pretty hot. But why do they all have English accents? Because it makes it more accessible to the audience? Because it’s an English director?…
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Earthquake (1971)
Cheese Louise. It’s funnier than it is scary. The characters are such losers in this movie, except for the cop, who was pretty cool. Decent effects (except for that red splattering), and a helluva bike stunt. That police car chase looked oddly like “Police Squad”. One girl had no tits,…
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Kentucky Fried Movie (1977)
The exact same kind of humor which later appeared in more coherent films like Airplane. Overly silly at times, but a few funny moments. The board game segment was the best cuz it actually had a socially satirical angle to it. Most of the rest was just random, silly slapstick…
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The Gods Must Be Crazy (1980)
Amateur acting, goofy story (which is sometimes funny). I have to admit that the Chevy-esque scene at the picnic table was pretty funny.
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The Thing (1982)
Expected a cheesy horror, especially from Carpenter, with fast cuts and poor production quality, but it turned out to be quite a movie. Well-made, and by far his best work. Good plot, many opportunities for suspense and gross-out. Very simple though, maybe a subplot would have helped thicken the stew.…
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Brazil (1985)
An amazingly complex social satire, and an entertaining story with entertaining characters at the same time. This film kinda felt like a Chaplin satire like Modern Times. Both Modern Times and this film had implications of Big Brother. This film was almost called “1984 1/2”, and for good reason. Definitely…
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Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
Funny film about a cool guy. Made in a really fun and interesting way. The story was fun and well-presented, and the characters were fabulous. Well-developed and very real. The principal’s performance was brilliant comedy, the best character in the movie. One of the most enjoyable endings I’ve seen for…
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The Lost Boys (1987)
The only cool role Keifer ever had. Patric is mostly there to be good-looking. Feldman and Haim are always a fun, goofy duo. Wiest is great at playing the lonely single mother (here and Parenthood). Herrmann gives a good performance which could have really shined in a more dramatic movie.…
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Die Jungfrauen Maschine (1988)
Expressionistic lighting. In fact, much of the film’s style is Expressionistic, and it’s really neat seeing that style with a contemporary American setting. Interesting seeing a foreigner getting accustomed to America through her eyes. What the hell kind of hotel was she staying in? I liked her look. Good actress.…
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Parenthood (1989)
Howard manages to pack in almost every awkward family situation into one story seamlessly. Great performances from a great cast. Funny and touching at the same time, like a John Hughes film. Perhaps Howard’s best.
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American Me (1992)
A good look into Hispanic-American lower-class culture. A combination of Carlito’s Way, Godfather (brother-killing), Shawshank Redemption (prison), and Malcolm X (dramatic rise and assassination) for Hispanics, but it just didn’t have the same punch as any of them. The story just doesn’t build effectively, and the film just wasn’t very…
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Troll 2 (1990)
Horribly, horribly bad in almost every way. Hilariously bad story, acting, and effects, and keeps me entertained because of it. I’m assuming it was meant to be a bad comedy. If it was actually supposed to scare people, that might even make it funnier. Seems like a high school play…
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The Joy Luck Club (1993)
Instead of Four Rooms, it could be called “Four Chinese Flashbacks.” And they just get old. Each flashback is predictable and boring. You see them coming from miles away; they are not meshed with the present very well, cheesy dialogue or a cheesy stare or a cheesy camera technique always…
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Bullets Over Broadway (1994)
Not funny. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even see too much of an attempt to be funny. I haven’t had much experience with Woody Allen. Is this his brand of humor?
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Interview with the Vampire (1994)
This is the best vampire movie I have seen. It, for the first time, deals with the subject matter in a mature and realistic way, allowing us to take a serious look at the vampire world and its myths, truths, and feelings. It didn’t have “eerie incoherence” like Bram Stoker’s…
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Speed (1994)
I don’t believe that a poorly laid-out plot such as this one was actually allowed to become a movie. It is inconceivable to think that the money and magic of Hollywood special effects, glitz, and glamour can be used on a story as simple and TV movie-ish as this one.…
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The American President (1995)
Chock-full of one liners (and a bit of physical humor), none of which is very funny or does anything to further the story. Of course, everybody in the theater, especially the idiot next to me, loved it. Overall, a decent but slow-moving story. Cool introduction sequence. The movie had an…
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Four Rooms (1995)
Obviously an attempt to make a playful movie, like From Dusk Till Dawn. A “why not make a shitty movie with all of my friends since we have so much money now” kind of film. Overall, a low-grade film. Rodriguez’s segment with the kids saved the movie. It was so…
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Sabrina (1995)
Great acting, pretty good story, and a few really funny moments, but the story runs a bit slow overall. The plot is also pretty darn complex.
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The Big Squeeze (1996)
Silly. Nothing significant happens. The same music throughout, and while it isn’t bad, it gets annoying. Reminded me a lot of Get Shorty. Same hustler character, same kind of whimsical direction. The main character could have been really cool if they got a star actor in the role and gave…
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Heaven’s Prisoners (1996)
Good cinematography, but it just seems like that isn’t enough happening in the story. Hind of slow, especially for a movie this long. Masterson is very pretty. Hatcher has saggy breasts.
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Sleepers (1996)
Kind of like a combination of Stand By Me, Now and Then, and almost any courtroom drama. A typically nostalgic Levinson film, but more horrifying than usual. Bacon and the other guards are VERY scary, and the film as a whole is pretty disturbing. The story is decent. Good music.…
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Conspiracy Theory (1997)
A good time for this movie to come out, amid the “X-Files” craze and a lack of faith in the federal government. Lots of twists. Feels like a novel. Gibson was awfully hard to watch at times. He was just too quirky. A few funny moments.
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The Lost World (1997)
Probably the best in the new trend of disaster movies. It’s got comedy, suspense, horror, grossness, and effects. The plot of the entire script is decent at best, but each individual scene has dramatic tension, and the action is very suspenseful and well-done. Much bloodier than Jurassic Park. Also had…
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Bulworth (1998)
A pretty complicated, loaded movie. But even though it had a lot to say, I’m not sure what the overall message was. The film as a whole is a bit silly and unrealistic, and I think that takes away from the vicious social satire it could have been. The camera=gun…
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Mulan (1998)
A typical Disney affair, with a cookie-cutter storyline and typical stereotypes. Tradition frowns upon a young, beautiful girl, who then decides to slap tradition in the face to show that she can play with the big boys, and in doing so, meets the man of her dreams, who disapproves of…
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Election (1999)
A really well-made film. This Payne guy knows what he’s doing. Lots of very real, very awkward sexual moments, like Your Friends & Neighbors. Lots of well-placed metaphorical moments and editing. Really funny. Fantastic characters. Well-casted and well-acted by all. It’s nice to see Broderick doing a real movie rather…
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Princess Mononoke (1997)
Wonderful, magical story, very well-told. Beautiful animation, fabulous music, great characters. The Spirit of the Forest was captivating, and the Kidoma were eerily cute. Ashitaka looked like Speed Racer. So who was Princess Mononoke? Why did San wear human jewelery like earrings and a necklace? And did that long shot…
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I'm a photographer, web developer, travel enthusiast, and movie buff living in Alexandria, Virginia, USA.In the summer of 1993, I started writing reviews for every movie I saw and haven't looked back. I'm up to 2,362 reviews now. This makes me cool or a complete dork, depending on your perspective.
Some of these reviews contain spoilers, so if that bothers you, don't read!
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